3 weeks ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on Most Effective Ways To Cut A Toxic Friend Out Of Your Life

Most Effective Ways To Cut A Toxic Friend Out Of Your Life

If you look keen on your friends, there are kind of personalities. Some are good friends who make you feel comfortable and boosts your morale. But there are others that are referred to as ‘toxic.’ These are friends that keeps pulling you down. They are emotionally demanding, narcissistic and always talking behind your back. These are the kinds of friends that you need to cut out of your life. 

Avoiding toxic friends can be hard because they have a way of luring themselves back to your life. They are your friend, after all. So, how do you ensure that you are cutting a toxic friend out of your life? In this guide, we are providing you with 10 best tips on how to cut toxic friends from your life for good. 

1. Identify their Toxicity 

To get rid of a toxic friend from your life for good, you need to find a compelling reason to why you don’t need them anymore. The best way to find a convincing reason is to understand their toxicity. You need to know how they have been affecting you negatively. There are all kinds of toxicity. There are friends who are manipulative and always wanting to misuse. Others are just selfish and jealous and always pulling you down. So, investigate their toxicity to make the right convincing decision. 

2. Don’t Expect Them To Change 

One mistake that people make is expecting that their toxic friends will change. So, don’t waste your time telling them to change because you can’t force them. Maybe they like what they do. Maybe they feel good when dressing you down to your face. Toxic people are not out there to make other people feel good but to satisfy their complex problems. So, it is much easier to let them go than waiting for them to change.  

3. Don’t Be Sentimental 

Another mistake that people make when trying to cut off toxic friends is being sentimental. That’s why they end up allowing such friends with negative energy back in their life. By virtual of being your friends, you must have good memories of the times that you had fun together. Don’t think about the good past because it will blind you from reality. If you believe that they are toxic, don’t even think about the good past you had with them. Just burn the bridges and move on. 

4. Delete Everything 

To get toxic friends out of your life means getting them out of everything, including your social media profiles. Delete them from your Facebook, Instagram and other platforms to prevent stalking temptations. Delete their number from your phone and block them from texting and calling. If you have their text messages and phone recordings on your phone plus digital platforms, delete them. The idea is to ensure that there is no way that you can get connected with them. 

5. Set Boundaries 

Once you decide to cut a toxic friend for good, you need to set new boundaries. You need to keep the friend(s) away as much as possible. Toxic people will always try to find ways to get back to that one sided friendship using your weak points. Therefore, you need to set boundaries and stick with them long-term. If you promised yourself not to respond to any of their attempts to reach to you, don’t. Don’t respond to emails, chats or any other form of communication from them. 

6. Don’t Re-engage 

One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is re-engaging with these friends. Most of the toxic friends have more to gain from you than you can get from them. So, they need you. Therefore, ending the friendship will hurt their interests the most. That’s why they are likely to try to revive the friendship. Don’t be tempted to re-engage even if they cause a drama or try to stalk you. Just walk away boldly to avoid being tricked back into the relationship. 

7. Be Honest 

Considering they have been your friends for years, you must get honest with yourself and with them. Don’t just phase them out. Otherwise, you will just be as toxic as them. Unless they are kind of pals you just party with, you need to let them know your intentions if they are intimate friends. You need to communicate with them about your decision to end the friendship. With that, they will know why you left, and they will not pursue you. Perhaps, they will change. 

8. Make New Friends 

If the friend meant a lot to you, then you might get lonely after cutting ties with them. To avoid falling into loneliness and stress, you must make a conscious decision to make new friends. This is important because it will help you get over the loss and also prevent you from going back to the’ toxic’ friend. However, it is important that you thoroughly vet new friends to avoid attracting another toxic friend. Go for the like-minded people. 

9. Know They May Resist 

Like in a relationship, you don’t expect the friendship to just end like that. Your toxic friend(s) will definitely resist the breakup. They will start throwing tantrums all over when they learn about your decision. So, you need to be ready for resistance. How you handle, it will greatly determine whether they will keep stalking you or not. The trick is to avoid giving in no matter what tricks they use. 

10. Put Yourself First 

Last on this list is putting yourself first. There are high chances that you have been putting the needs of your toxic friends first. Now you need to put your own happiness and needs first to cut bad friends out of your life for good. Think about things that make you happy and devote most of your time doing them. You shouldn’t even care about what they feel when you break up the friendship but how your life will be better. 

Toxic friends bring negative energy in your life. There are not there for you but selfish gains. The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut them out of your life for good, and these are some of the most useful tips to achieve this. 

3 months ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on The Importance of Self-Love

The Importance of Self-Love

Can you explain how you feel when you get positive feedback from people? How do you feel when your boss says, ‘you did a great job’? You get what’s called ‘over the moon’ sensation because of appreciation. But do you take time to appreciate yourself for the achievement you make or just who you are? 

Well, self-love is something that most people don’t have, yet it is the most important. Cultivating the feeling of self-appreciation by loving yourself for what you are and what you do is what everyone needs. Self-love is all about taking care of your own needs without sacrificing your well-being to please others. There are many benefits that come with loving yourself. Here are 10 reasons why self love is important: 

1. Self-Awareness 

Do you know who you are? Well, that is a question most people cannot get answers to. Self-awareness is one of the powerful tools to succeed in life. With self-awareness, you can see yourself from a third-person point of view. You will examine who you are, things you like, your strength, weakness, and vulnerability. By knowing who you really are, you will avoid getting entrapped by blinded narcissism and passiveness. But you can only develop self-awareness if you have self-love. 

2. Self-Appreciation 

Some people don’t appreciate themselves. They don’t like how they look, how they talk, the kind of job they do, and most things about themselves. Most of these people rely on others to tell them that they are good. This is why some people fall into stress and depression when other people comment negatively about them. But if you appreciate truly who you are, then you don’t get bothered by people’s opinions. But you need to love yourself first so that you can appreciate who you are. 

3. You Will Be in Charge 

When you have cultivated self-love, you will take charge of your life. There many people who still rely on friends and partners to show them direction. For example, if it is your friends that plan things and yours is just to follow, then you are not in charge of yourself. You could as well be living someone else life. But when you have self-love, you know what you want, and you make your own decisions. That means you will be living you and a life that satisfies you. 

4. Build Self-Confidence 

One of the major reasons why you need to cultivate self-love is to build self-confidence. It is one of the crucial traits that most people are lacking. Unfortunately, most people lack self-confidence because they don’t love themselves. They don’t believe in themselves, and that’s why they can’t stand up to defend anything. In fact, they don’t stand for anything in their life, making them an easy target for manipulation. Therefore, if you want to build self-confidence, then you must start with cultivating the self-love.  

5. Conscious Decision Making 

When you love yourself, you will be able to make a smart and conscious decision. Without loving yourself, it is hard to know what you really want. So, all the decisions that you make will be based on what your social circle dictates. Something, people make very wrong decisions that they live to regret for the rest of their life. Self-love gives the courage to make tough decisions that you know will add value to your life and make you happy. 

6. Enjoy Time Alone 

You can have all the time you want with family and friends but the most crucial moment is the one that you spend alone. That’s is the time that you reflect on yourself to see who you are and how you are doing. Spending time alone enables you to reflect on your past and imagine how tomorrow will be for you. But that can only happen when you love yourself. Loving yourself allows you to create time to be alone. But if you don’t love you, you will always have busy schedules to please others. 

7. Setting boundaries 

Some of us don’t even know where our boundaries reach. We have allowed other people into lives to the point that they are controlling us. But this happens when we don’t love who we are so that we can set boundaries. When you cultivate self-love, you know who you and create self-confidence. By knowing who you are and what you can do, you will be able to set boundaries and stick to them. With that, you become more assertive and develop a purposeful and positive attitude.  

8. Better Damage Control 

In life, there are times when things don’t go as planned. You could have made what you thought was the right decision but later learn that you’ve made a big mistake. In such instances, people behave differently. If you don’t have self-love, you will hate yourself and get embarrassed. But, if you love yourself, you will take lessons and move on. You will be able to forge through without getting discouraged because you know what you want. Therefore, you will be able to handle damages better. 

9. You Identify Toxic People 

When you have a large social circle, you will have all kinds of friends. Some are very good, but others are toxic. People who don’t support your growth are toxic. But you cannot identify such individuals if you don’t love yourself. You will not have any basis through which you can identify a bad company. When you cultivate self-love, you will know who is supporting you and who is trying to pull you down. That’s how you will quickly identify bad friends. 

10. You Will Love Others 

Loving yourself will not only help you see yourself differently but also other people. You will be able to see other people’s strength and weakness and love them for whom they are. You will stop criticising people but instead understand their shortcomings. Therefore, you will be in peace with everyone, and you will love others as you love yourself. 

There are many reasons why self-love important. Once you cultivate this feeling, you will identify your strength and weakness. You will start living your life on your term. Self-love will also give you the courage to walk away from toxic relationships and start living a happy, positive life. 

4 months ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on Why Are You Lonely? This Is What You Need

Why Are You Lonely? This Is What You Need

Feeling isolated and lonely is a problem that most people face sometime in their life. What most people don’t know is that you can feel lonely anywhere, anytime. Unlike the common belief, you can feel lonely even when with a large social circle. As long as there is an emotionally or socially disconnected with the people surrounding you, you are prone to loneliness. 

There are many dangers of being lonely. Chronic loneliness suppresses your immunity, increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases, and reduces your lifespan. If you are wondering why you are lonely and what you do about it, this guide is for you. Here are 10 ways you can fight loneliness successfully. 

1. Start Small Talks 

One of the best tricks to fight loneliness is talking. Small talk helps you break the trail of stressful thoughts, making you feel lonely. So, you will be able to kill the loneliness and also get some positive energy to get you going. There are many ways that you can start a small talk with the people around you. Whether they are strangers on your bus or friends, just start a general conversation. It may feel awkward, but it will be very helpful to you if you are lonely. 

2. Evaluate Your Connections 

You are feeling alone because your social connection does not provide you with the support you need. That’s why you need to sit down and take stock of your current connections. You need to evaluate your current friends. Find out if they are making a positive impact in your life, or they are just adding to your loneliness. Are they the kind of people you can count on when you have a problem or toxic? Such a question will help you determine the kind of friends to keep and cut off. 

3. Find Like-Minded People 

One of the reasons you are feeling emotionally and socially disconnected from your social circles is because you don’t have like-minded friends. That’s what makes you lose interest in the group, and this can get you feeling lonely. Imagine being in a group of people that love soccer, but you love video games? This will definitely make you feel lonely when they are enjoying music. What you need is to find a group of like-minded people. That’s one of the best ways to kill loneliness.  

4. Recognise You Aren’t Alone 

The most important thing to recognise when feeling lonely is that you are not alone. There are many people in Australia going through the same problem. Several studies have shown that there is about 10% of lonely Australians aged 15 and over. Therefore, you should not get scared or stressed because you are not alone. There are also many people having who have been there before and came out victorious. So, there is hope that you can fight and win over this condition. 

5. Get Active 

One of the things that makes loneliness condition get worse is living a sedentary lifestyle. This kind of life provides a perfect environment for the stressful thoughts that causes loneliness to thrive. But when you start living an active lifestyle, you will be able to interrupt stressing thoughts hence reducing the symptoms of loneliness. There are many ways that you can get your life active. Start with exercising every morning. Then spend most of your day doing things that you love. Make going out for a walk part of your lifestyle.  

6. Join Online Groups 

Today, almost everyone is connected to the internet. In this time of covid-19 pandemic when movement and meeting up with people is limited, you should go online. There are many online platforms of like-minded people that you can join for chats, call and other ways of communication to help you battle loneliness. However, it is important that you do thorough research on online groups of interest before joining. Support, safe and anonymous platforms are the best places to express yourself. 

7. Plan Your Things 

The other way you can solve the problem of being lonely is planning your things. Being disorganised is one of the factors that can escalate your loneliness condition. You will find it hard to hang out with friends, hence making the problem even worse. Therefore, you need to plan your day well and allocate time to meeting with people. You can even create time to socialise even with strangers. With that, you will be able to avoid being alone most of the time. 

8. Slow Down 

We are in a world where everything is moving really fast. We have very busy schedules, and always running to do something. Maybe you have projects to complete, meetings to attend and other things that make it impossible to connect with people. This kind of lifestyle is likely to get lonely as you have no time to meet with people that can help alleviate the problems. If you have this kind of lifestyle and you feel lonely, you need to take time to slow down. Relax and do things that your body want. 

9. Create Time for Yourself 

Another thing that you need to do when feeling alone is to create time for yourself. This is very important when your condition is getting worse. Creating time alone does not mean that you will get lonely. In fact, it is one of the most effective tricks to kill loneliness disorder. When alone, you will have self-reflection, which helps deal with all kinds of stress. You find answers to why you are lonely and the step to take to alleviate the problem. 

10. Give Back to Your Community 

Last but not least is giving back to your community. If you feel alone, you will get a lot of satisfaction when you engage in community activities such as cleaning your neighbourhood. You will meet up with people who know, and this will help break up the loneliness cycle. These activities also help you create a new social circle.  

If you are feeling lonely, then there is something that is not working for you in your social circle. What you need is to figure out the cause and the solution before the problem get worse. With these lonely alleviating tips, your life will change drastically. 

5 months ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on Fascinating Facts About Loneliness

Fascinating Facts About Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the biggest health issues not only in Australia but also across the world. It is estimated that at least 40% of the world’s population will get affected by loneliness at some point in their lives. That includes us in Australia.  

Unfortunately, most people don’t understand the impact that loneliness can have on our lives. What’s even worrying is that most people don’t that they are lonely. In this guide, we have put together some of the fascinating facts about loneliness that will change how you view this psychological condition: 

1. Loneliness is Contagious 

Most people think that loneliness comes from within, but studies show that the condition can spread among people. It is very easy to feel lonely if you have people surrounding you battling this condition. If one of your close friends or family has loneliness, studies have shown that you are 52 per cent more likely to be lonely. So, if you identify that someone is lonely, help them overcome the condition since it’s contagious.  

2. You Can Still Be Lonely with Friends 

Most people think that loneliness is a result of being alone, which is not correct. Studies have shown loneliness does not depend on how many relationships you have. You can have a large social circle but still feel lonely. What matters in loneliness is the quality of the friends you keep. As long as you are emotionally or socially disconnected from the people you consider friends or family, you are prone to loneliness. So, choose your friends wisely. 

3. Married Couple Most Affected 

If you ever thought that relationships could protect you from loneliness, then you are wrong. Studies have shown that more than 60 per cent of the lonely people across the world, including here in Australia, are married people. There are so many things that go on behind the closed doors of many homes that stress occupants. When married couples stop seeing things the same way and can no longer share feelings and thoughts, they feel disconnected, and that’s how loneliness sets in. 

4. Loneliness Devalues Relationship 

When one is lonely, their perception of their relationship changes. They start devaluing relationships, and this causes them to withdraw further from the people that care about them. That’s why you will find that someone has started spending too much time alone, yet you used to do things together. In most cases, they don’t like talking as they used to when you meet up. The worst thing is that they try to avoid those who could help them alleviate the problem. 

5. Makes One Feel Cold 

Studies have shown that when feeling lonely, people tend to feel colder than usual. If you ask people who had been lonely, they will tell that the room was always cold. That explains why most lonely and depressed people wear warm clothes even when the weather is hot. This is one of the signs that can help you identify a friend or family member struggling with loneliness. In addition to that, feeling cold can have health complications. 

6. Loneliness Suppress Immunity 

Studies have shown that people struggling with loneliness are at increased risk of developing all kinds of diseases. That’s because loneliness has been found to suppress the immunity of the patient. The condition reduces the ability of the immune system to respond to potential infections. Lonely people’s system activates the ‘fight or flight’ response, which could do more harm to the body than good when continually activated over time. The condition also lowers the antiviral compound in the body known as interferons. 

7. You Get Lonelier as You Age 

Although youths have also been victims of loneliness, the highest percentage of people battling loneliness is in the elderly. As you advance in age, you are more likely to get lonelier. Many things go in your life as you age, which makes a good candidate for loneliness. The increased responsibilities and life targets are some of the major reasons. Failing to hit your set targets as you age can greatly contribute to feeling loneliness. In addition to that, it is harder to make and maintain friends as you age.  

8. Loneliness Harm Your Physical Health 

Chronic loneliness will harm not only your mental health but also your physical health. Studies have shown that loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That’s how destructive this condition is to a person. With the lower immunity and increased risk of diseases, then your body will also be the most affected when stressed. It is also during loneliness that most people indulge in alcohol, drugs, smoking, and other things that damage their physical health. 

9. Increases Risk of Heart Disease 

One of the biggest health threats of chronic loneliness is cardiovascular disease. Most people diagnosed with these diseases are also likely to be struggling with loneliness, among other psychological conditions. Studies have also shown that lonely people are more likely to have a stroke or heart attack. Loneliness also increases the risk of death among individuals with a history of heart diseases. So, when you feel lonely, get help to avoid getting heart problems.  

10. Loneliness Can Kill You 

Chronic loneliness can kill you. There are many ways that being lonely can increase the risk of death. First, chronic condition suppresses your immunity, and this deteriorates your health. The risk of heart diseases and poor eating habits associated with loneliness also shorten your lifespan. Sometimes, the condition may trigger suicidal thoughts. So, there are many ways that chronic loneliness can cause death.  

In conclusion, loneliness is a devastating mental condition that should be taken seriously. If not treated, it can cause serious health complications and even death. So, if you feel lonely, you must seek help immediately before the condition gets worse.  

6 months ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on Surprising Benefits Of Being By Yourself

Surprising Benefits Of Being By Yourself

Humans are social creatures, and that’s why apart from having a family at home, we also have a large social circle of friends. We do everything together, including work, sports, religion, and other activities. What most people don’t understand is that spending all your time with others decimates your growth as a person. 

Although spending time with friends and family is great, spending some time alone is the best thing you can do for yourself. Unlike what some people think, you can reap enormous benefits if you choose to spare some time for yourself. In this guide, we have rounded up 10 surprising benefits of being alone. 

1. You Focus On Yourself 

One essential thing that you miss when you spend all your time with friends, co-workers, and family is self-reflection. You don’t get to think about yourself, what you want, how you are doing, and other questions that can help improve your life. But when you spend time alone, you will be able to have a conversation with yourself. You will be to ask yourself questions and get answers to things that matter in your life. So, you will be able to focus on yourself and make conscious decisions that improve your life. 

2. You Feel Energised 

Being around people all the time may feel fun, but what you don’t know is that it keeps draining your energy. Getting in conversation, quarrels, hopping from one club to the other, and other things that makes social life fun will get you exhausted. Sometimes, the group you are in is giving you unnecessary pressure. But when you spare some time for yourself; you will get your batteries recharged. With a more positive attitude and zero fatigue, you will feel more energised. 

3. You Value Yourself More 

One of the biggest problems that most people are struggling with is self-devaluation. There is a huge number of people that feel less valuable and important in life. But this comes as a result of comparing themselves with other people in their social circle. They feel inferior because they have never had time to rediscover themselves. When you spend time alone, you are able to identify your weakness and strength. Then you can capitalise on the two to improve your value.  

4. Improved productivity 

When all your day to day life is tagged to a groupie, it becomes very difficult to be productive. You cannot plan anything for yourself successfully without interruptions from other people. But when you start spending time alone, you will be able to learn how to schedule your time for things that matter in your life. You will plan on how to maximise your time, and this will significantly increase your productivity. Note that there will be less fatigue, plus you can create more time for any task. 

5. You Get Know Yourself Better 

You will be surprised to learn that you know nothing about yourself. That’s the case with most people, especially the youths. To get meaning to your life, you need to know yourself and what your agenda in life is. But when you are hanging around with friends most of the time, then you will be carrying their agendas. But when you spend time alone, concentrate on yourself. You will discover things that you like doing, and this will be life-changing.  

6. Change Your Life Trajectory 

One of the biggest benefits of being alone is turning your life around. Most people in groupies live a life that is not theirs. They spend a lot of time drinking but not because they like drinking – it’s all because of the company. Some are in crime because of the company that they keep. When you spare some time for yourself alone, you get to reflect on things happening in your life. If you don’t like it, you can turn around and start living a new life.  

7. You Feel Less Judged 

Nothing can be intimidating and stressful than feel judged. You feel deeply affected by what other people say about you, and this could result in stress and depression, among other psychological disorders. But most people who feel judged have low self-esteem. They don’t know who they are, and that’s why they get affected when people comment negatively on them. But when you spend time alone and discover your strength and weakness, you will never feel judged again. In fact, you care less about people’s opinions. 

8. Improved Self-Confidence 

Only when you become self-conscious that your self-confidence will improve. People with low self-confidence usually have a problem of comparing themselves with others. They don’t know themselves; hence they can exploit their potential. But with spending time alone, you will rediscover yourself and what you can do best. This will improve your confidence tremendously. Once you know your strength and weakness, you will not need validation from other people for the things you do.  

9. Good Decision Making 

A lot of us have made bad decisions that we ended up regretting. If you look back, most of these bad decisions got influenced by the people around us. Some people made bad decisions such as getting into drugs, wrong careers, bad relationships, and others, because of their social circle. When you start spending time alone, you get to clear your mind and see things from your own perspective and not through external influence. That’s when you be able to make good decisions in your life. 

10. Improved Mental Health 

One of the biggest benefits of being alone is improved mental health. It is very stressful when you take a lot of pressure from people in your social circle. But when you love being alone, you will shed off stressing thoughts and clear your mind. This means your mental health will be improved. 

Being alone does not mean living a lonely lifestyle. It is just getting time for yourself alone to reflect on life. Creating time to be alone help you rediscover and get in tune with yourself. Try it, and it will change your life.