6 months ago · Glenda Morgan · Comments Off on Abusive Friendships: How To Recognise You Are In One
When you ask people about an abusive relationship, more often than not, they will think of romantic or family relationships. But what most people don’t realise is that your best friends can also be abusive to you. Unfortunately, we don’t recognise it until it is too late.
There are many ways that you can tell you are in an abusive friendship. If you have a friend that brings grief than joy, you need to careful. Such friends are abusing you and are likely to leave you with psychological and emotional trauma. Here are ways that you can recognise abusive friends in your life.
1. Always Wanting To Be Your Priority
If you have friends that think that they should be your priority, then you need to be very careful. Good friends should allow you to have your time and do not feel that you should prioritise them. A good friend should understand that you have a private life, including school, work, family, and so on, which is your priority. If they are not happy because you refuse to join them on a weekend clubbing, that’s a sign of abusive friends who wants you to prioritise them.
2. Rely On You Too Much
If you have friends that overly dependent on you, and they feel that you need them, that’s a sign you are in an abusive friendship. Abusive friend relies on you to help them with everything, and if you refuse to help them, they feel bad and complain. On the other hand, when you ask for a favour from them, it always becomes a big deal to help you. In fact, they rarely help you with anything when you are in need. Avoid such friends.
3. Always Saying Sorry
Abusive friends always think that saying sorry when they mess you up fixes everything. When they come to your apartment and break things, they’re just sorry. If they hit you in the face, they will just say sorry and thinks that everything is ok. If they cause an accident and damage your car, they just sorry and don’t fix it. The worst part is that they have a habit of messing you and all they do is say sorry. These are abusive friends you should avoid.
4. You Can’t Trust Them
A healthy friendship should be built on trust. If you cannot trust your friends because you’ve caught them betraying you, then that’s a red flag of an abusive friendship. Friends you have caught them lying to you and tried to talk their way out, they are not good for you. If they have broken their promises, shared their secrets, or gossiped about you, then you need to cut them out of your life ASAP. These are the kinds of friends that are likely to leave you with psychological traumas.
5. Intimidating Friends
Intimidation is another red flag of an abusive friendship. If you have friends that are constantly intimidating you by trying to assert their dominance over you, be careful because you have abusive friends. There are many tactics abusive friends use to intimidate, including insults, humiliation, threats, blames, and trying to outdo you so that you look inferior. Their intension is to make you feel that you are the ‘bad friend’ and you need them more than they need you.
6. They Don’t Respect You
Friendship is all about respect. There are fundamental elements of mutual respect to observe for a good friendship. Abusive friends do not show any of these fundamentals. They take your things even without asking for permission. What’s worse is that they conveniently forget to return your things as agreed. They don’t respect your opinions, choices, and beliefs, and what they do is belittle you. Such are abusive friends, and you need to cut them out of your life.
7. Won’t Listen To You
A good friend should have time to listen to you whenever you need them. They should be there for you whenever you have a problem. But abusive friends ignore you, and most of the time, they tend to behave like you are not even there. They will often dismiss or disregard what you say. In fact, they never take anything you say seriously or ask for your opinion on crucial matters. If you have such friends, cut them out of your life.
8. Always Making You Feel Wrong
Abusive friends always make you feel wrong. Even when they are wrong, they will make you feel like you are responsible for their mistakes. So, they have a way of shifting blames to you and always making you feel responsible. They are very dramatic when they wrong and always play the victim card in most situations. If you have such friends, they can get you depressed and, among other psychological disorders.
9. They Don’t Respect Your Personal Space
Another red flag for abusive friendship is a lack of respect for your personal space. They believe that what’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is theirs. That’s why they can take your things, but you cannot have their things. That’s what we call a one-sided friendship that is benefiting your friends more than you. So, they believe that they can use your car, your phone, have the right to your home and so on. If a friend does not respect your personal space, they are abusing the friendship.
10. They Are Never Wrong
Another sign of abusive friendship is friends that are never wrong. They are the kind of friends that knows everything regardless of the topic you are talking discussing. Whether you are discussing the weather or cars, they will insist on their opinion regardless of whether they are wrong. If you have friends that frequently ask about the things you know and always trying to prove you wrong, they are toxic and abusive.
Being abused by people, you consider close friends can cause have devastating effects on your mental health. Abusive friends will exploit you and make you feel weak and useless. That’s why you need to cut them out of your life. With these tips, you will be able to recognise such friends in your life.